dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
