Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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