I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize