He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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