and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
