you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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