what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
