I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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