You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
