Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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