Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize