i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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