Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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