dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
