and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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