i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize