your parents love me but you hate me
...so i touched it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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