i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.