and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
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Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
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Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail