So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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