If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
