bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
