So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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