I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
