I cannot find my penis.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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