he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i think im in europe. pls send help
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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