Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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