And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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