check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
