did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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