I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
