you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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