They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
