So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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