Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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