You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
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He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize