I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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