I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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