I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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