Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
cat food counts as protein by the way
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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