Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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