two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
