threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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