is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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