Need sex. Gaining weight.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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