I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
