Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
