My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What a dumb baby whore.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
