That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize