Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
