I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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