Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize