its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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