did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
