..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
