so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
